Sheeeeee's Baaaaaaaaack!

I owe you a sincere, most grovelsome apology.  If any of you are still out there that is, my Preshuses.  You may, or may not, have been aware that Charlotte has been MIA.  The reasons for this may be many and varied and could be any one of the following:

A)Kidnapped by dwarf violinists and secreted in a former war bunker near Kiev where I was bludgeoned with wet teatowels.

B)Suffered a bout of amnesia an forgot who I....who....whooo....what was I saying?

C) Was whisked away by Humphrey on a three month cruise to Antarctica where we became ice-locked.     Humphrey selflessly offered himself......and was eaten.

D)Decided to take part in a walking pilgrimage to Mecca and took a wrong turn somewhere near Turkmeninistan.

E)In a fit of pique I sold my house, children and husband and bought a shack in Marble Bar where I now live with 47 cats and a squirrel.

F)Have been in a coma....on my loungeroom floor....for three months.....and the kids didn't even notice while they hunted for the remote.

G)Humphrey decided to act upon my whining and sent me to a fat farm...or his version of it.....chained in the shed cellar for three months. Much to his amazement I actually came out fatter. My ancestors thrived during  ice-ages and famines due to the ability to get fat on thinking about roast mammoth ears.  I have taken this ability to a new level.  The rats helped.

H) I roamed the wilderness (south of the homestead) for forty days and forty nights in search of enlightenment and found frostbite and a couple of hundred straggler sheep.

I) I have been languishing at Her Majesty's pleasure after being arrested for trying to hide under the bishop's robes at Will's and Kate's wedding (but that's another post).

J)I was abducted by aliens and now speak *^^_+ fluently. I can also spot a worm hole at 545 light-years.

H) I'm basically a lazy F*ck and have been so damn busy studying and caring for my Bratlings that my future famosity as a Blog Queen took a back seat to mediocrity in a backwater.


So there you have it.  Take your pick. Personally I go for "E" - it has a kind of appeal.  Or maybe "E" blended with "C" because I've always wondered what Humphrey would taste like sauteed wanted to go to Antarctica.