No, I'm not talking about the impending financial collapse of the European Union and the fact that by 2014 we will all be living in dumpsters and selling our children as spare parts. My latest news-induced physical and emotional implosion happened after I heard the tragic news of Kim Kardashian's impending divorce.
On my knees arms beseeching the heavens I wailed "Where, oh where did the love go?"
All that effort...... THREE wedding dresses (because when you're really in love one is not enough)....three hundred and seventy six carat diamond rings (again, he loved her three hundred and seventy six times more than the average guy), .
I ...just.....can't....believe....sob.. i...it's.....over....blub...sniffle.
How our Armenian princess gets through the day after this personal armageddon is beyond me How she drags herself out of her swag each morning to administer food and medicine to the starving Sudanese....How she squares up and pokes her finger into collective chest of the UN about war crimes in Sri Lanka....How she works in soup kitchens on Hollywood Boulevard....How she personally oversees the health and wellbeing of disabled Romanian orphans. All of this.....and her marriage has crumbled.....it was all just. too. much.
Huh?
What's that? She actually doesn't do anything? ANYTHING?
Well what's she doing splashed all over the media all the time? Of course it's a bloody good question.....
She sells handbags? Handbags? And clothes? Oh.
You are kidding......she actually charged people who had already bought her handbags $160 to get an autograph......in Australia? She wasn't mobbed or spattered with rotten tomatoes?
But what about the starvi......
Nevermind.
Humans are stupid. I want to be a dog.
brilliant... and so true!
ReplyDeleteI am oddly fascinated by the Kardashians. Maybe just because they make me seem significantly less shallow and self-obsessed.
ReplyDeleteI'm hearing you Jen. I feel positively NOBLE in comparison.
ReplyDeleteThanks Luce!