May contain profane language and distateful ideas. Spoiled Charlotte is in no way affliated with the FBI, CIA, ASIO, French Foreign Legion or the Governments of Australia or Guam. The views expressed herein are in no way endorsed by Pfizer, Woolworths, Monsanto, Arnotts, Oprah or Miley Cyrus, which is a shame. We would have been so good together.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Apple Noses and A Fable

This Morning.

Me: "Bratley (aka Thing 2) why did you not eat your apple at school yesterday?"
Bratley: "I couldn't.  It had a NOSE."

(Upon inspection said apple did indeed have a little wart thing on it. Thing 1 has it in his lunchbox today).

Last Night:

After at least an hour of asking, begging, pleading and then downright screaming like a banchee the Things finally decided that in the interests of living to see another day, they would go to bed.
After five minutes, from behind their bedroom door,  I hear a screech and growl by Thing 1, followed by peals of laughter and hiccoughy giggles by Thing 2.  This went on for a couple of minutes - so being nosey I decided to creep up to their door to check that they were ok eavesdrop - yeah, you know what they say about eavesdropping......

It went like this:

Thing 1: "No wait, wait. She goes like this; GROWWWWWWWLGETINTABEDRIGHTNOOOOOOWWWWYOUTWOOO" (gnashing of teeth for sound effects).

Thing2: (giggling) "Yeah, yeah, that's what she does" (guffaw).

Thing1: "No wait. It's more like BRATLEEEEYANDGRUNTLEEEEYGETYOURBUTTSINTOBEDNOW!HAVEYOUBRUSHEDYOURTEETH?????" (snorts with laughter at own fabulous sense of humour).

Thing 2: (obviously rolling around with mirth) "Butt. You just said BUTT!" (more giggling).

Thing 1:  (sounds like he's doing an Incredible Hulk impression) "ROOOOOOOOOOOARRRRRGETINTOBEDGROWLLLL."  Then in normal voice,
 "Oh, what about when she talks to Dad, it's like  (insert galah screech) "HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMPPPHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECOMEANDDEALWITHYOURKIDS!"

Thing 2: (choking with laughter) "Yeah, and BUTT CHEEKS."

So, it's official, my children think I'm a fishwife.

I'm still giggling though.
(And no, Bratley and Gruntley are definitely not the names bestowed upon Things 1 and 2, their real names are much worse).


  1. Sounds like they sure love their Mom....always a good thing!

    I would have giggled and given myself away.

  2. sigh. son love, what can we do Jo?