Me: "Bratley (aka Thing 2) why did you not eat your apple at school yesterday?"
Bratley: "I couldn't. It had a NOSE."
(Upon inspection said apple did indeed have a little wart thing on it. Thing 1 has it in his lunchbox today).
After at least an hour of asking, begging, pleading and then downright screaming like a banchee the Things finally decided that in the interests of living to see another day, they would go to bed.
After five minutes, from behind their bedroom door, I hear a screech and growl by Thing 1, followed by peals of laughter and hiccoughy giggles by Thing 2. This went on for a couple of minutes - so being nosey I decided to creep up to their door to
It went like this:
Thing 1: "No wait, wait. She goes like this; GROWWWWWWWLGETINTABEDRIGHTNOOOOOOWWWWYOUTWOOO" (gnashing of teeth for sound effects).
Thing2: (giggling) "Yeah, yeah, that's what she does" (guffaw).
Thing1: "No wait. It's more like BRATLEEEEYANDGRUNTLEEEEYGETYOURBUTTSINTOBEDNOW!HAVEYOUBRUSHEDYOURTEETH?????" (snorts with laughter at own fabulous sense of humour).
Thing 2: (obviously rolling around with mirth) "Butt. You just said BUTT!" (more giggling).
Thing 1: (sounds like he's doing an Incredible Hulk impression) "ROOOOOOOOOOOARRRRRGETINTOBEDGROWLLLL." Then in normal voice,
"Oh, what about when she talks to Dad, it's like (insert galah screech) "HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMPPPHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECOMEANDDEALWITHYOURKIDS!"
Thing 2: (choking with laughter) "Yeah, and BUTT CHEEKS."
So, it's official, my children think I'm a fishwife.
I'm still giggling though.
(And no, Bratley and Gruntley are definitely not the names bestowed upon Things 1 and 2, their real names are much worse).