Apple Noses and A Fable

This Morning.

Me: "Bratley (aka Thing 2) why did you not eat your apple at school yesterday?"
Bratley: "I couldn't.  It had a NOSE."

(Upon inspection said apple did indeed have a little wart thing on it. Thing 1 has it in his lunchbox today).

Last Night:

After at least an hour of asking, begging, pleading and then downright screaming like a banchee the Things finally decided that in the interests of living to see another day, they would go to bed.
After five minutes, from behind their bedroom door,  I hear a screech and growl by Thing 1, followed by peals of laughter and hiccoughy giggles by Thing 2.  This went on for a couple of minutes - so being nosey I decided to creep up to their door to check that they were ok eavesdrop - yeah, you know what they say about eavesdropping......

It went like this:

Thing 1: "No wait, wait. She goes like this; GROWWWWWWWLGETINTABEDRIGHTNOOOOOOWWWWYOUTWOOO" (gnashing of teeth for sound effects).

Thing2: (giggling) "Yeah, yeah, that's what she does" (guffaw).

Thing1: "No wait. It's more like BRATLEEEEYANDGRUNTLEEEEYGETYOURBUTTSINTOBEDNOW!HAVEYOUBRUSHEDYOURTEETH?????" (snorts with laughter at own fabulous sense of humour).

Thing 2: (obviously rolling around with mirth) "Butt. You just said BUTT!" (more giggling).

Thing 1:  (sounds like he's doing an Incredible Hulk impression) "ROOOOOOOOOOOARRRRRGETINTOBEDGROWLLLL."  Then in normal voice,
 "Oh, what about when she talks to Dad, it's like  (insert galah screech) "HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMPPPHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECOMEANDDEALWITHYOURKIDS!"

Thing 2: (choking with laughter) "Yeah, and BUTT CHEEKS."

So, it's official, my children think I'm a fishwife.

I'm still giggling though.
(And no, Bratley and Gruntley are definitely not the names bestowed upon Things 1 and 2, their real names are much worse).