Could You Give Me A Hand With The Spike In My Buttocks?

You know those big round cacti that look like spikey pumpkins?  Yeah, well Humphrey adopted one.  He calls it our "naughty" chair.   That's where I'm sitting.  Right now. For Conduct Unbecoming. You know, about my last post....the Smurfs and their reproductive organs
The words "juvenile", "delinquent",  "oh-my-God-what-if-Mum-reads-it", "limited-vocabulary", "humour-of-a-six-year-old-boy" and "lack of commonsense" made up most of our  his most recent exchange  monologue, so I stand sit chastised chastened. 
Apparently I'm a questionable role model to the Things and I need to "reconsider" my vernacular degeneration. Obviously I'm at risk of reverting back to my pond-slime type. (Damn O'Callaghan genes).
So I now kneel here before you....begging forgiveness and promising to never again use profane language gratuitously and/or in the same sentence as animated characters.
Before you start sending sympathy cards to my long-suffering husband......I know where you live.
"Whatwilltherelativesthink????"