Please, feel free to print and use this tool if you are in anyway concerned for the mental wellbeing of someone you know, someone you know a little bit, someone you don't know, but looks odd; someone you don't know, but is definitely odd or someone who knows someone who knows one of your friends. In no way does it replace the recommended individual consultation with a mental health professional.
DSMVMA IV 2009
The following are a list of common causes of stress.
Tick next to the statements/situations that most apply to you.
10 Recently married.
4 Lost job.
4 Changed job.
5 Got a crap job
6 No job.
10 Work as a telemarketer.
3 Sold home
4 Bought new home
5 Shifted home
6 Thrown out of home.
10 Home is a park bench.
5 Given birth.
10 Given birth to twins
16 + Given birth to kittens.
4 Diagnosed with an illness.
7 Diagonsed with a serious illness.
15 Self-diagnosed with serious, life-threatening illness and will die within hours.
9 Death of a spouse.
10 Responsible for death of spouse.
15 Discover supposedly dead spouse still alive.
3 Brush with the law.
4 Very close brush with law.
12 Sentenced to six months detention in the special care of Brian and his truncheon, BigHal.
4Prangedyourcar.
6 Pranged your Dad's car.
9 Pranged your neighbour's car after you forgot to ask them if you could borrow it.
0 Divorced - YOU WIN!!
To score add the numbers next to your ticked statements.
0 - 5
You are annoyingly happy. Go away.
6 - 10
You are about to break out in shingles.
11 - 15
Put the gun down and step away from the razor blades.
16 +
You haven't been taking your meds have you?
We've called 000 and someone is coming to lasso the dragon you say is hiding in your closet.
DSMVOMA IV 2009 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Veterinary and Medical Anomalies)
Dr Virgil Hammergodsom (Dean of Languages)
Dr Gail Guano (Pursor)
University of Google.
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